Loser's guide to suicide

I was at the video store today, saw a Bob Newhart DVD. Reminded me of some of the skits he used to do, we have a record of them somewhere. He did some good ones, like the driving instructor, the security guard when King Kong was on the building, and some others. I wondered how he would handle my life, guess it would go like this.

I woke up, totally depressed, as usual, and decided this would be the day I would not go on any further. I would end my life today.

I decided to do it quickly, before I lost my nerve. I went to the bathroom and looked in the medicine cabinet to overdose on some pills. Alas, all I could find were my sister's birth control pills. Guaranteed, I would never have a baby, but what an embarrassing way to go, I could just see the headline now on Jay Leno's show. "Man o.d.'s on birth control." Not a good way to go.

I saw the electic razor plugged in and started to fill the bathtub. That's a normal accident - electrocution by something falling in the tub. First I couldn't find the stopper for the drain. Then it took forever for the cold water to stop and hot water to start filling the tub. Finally it was full and hot. I took off my clothes and started to step in. That's when the power company shut off the power to our block. I had to get dressed, I don't think dropping a flashlight powered by two 1.5 volt batteries in the tub will do the job.

I decided to finish things in my car. I went down the street and parked halfway through the intersection. Instead of being hit, other drivers honked and went around me. One driver even offered to help me push my car to the side of the road.

I drove down to some train tracks I saw and parked across them. A man came up to me and asked if I broke down. I asked him why, is the train coming soon? He said no, that tracks been out of use for years, he doesn't remember the last time a train came down it.

I tried going down to the docks, figuring I could drive into the water and drown. The security guard at the gate wouldn't let me through without proof I worked there.

I drove downtown to the highest building and went in, figuring to take the elevator to the top floor and jump. The security guard in the lobby wouldn't let me through if I didn't have an appointment with somebody in the building. What, are these guys everywhere? If I was wearing a turban, they would let me in the oil refinery with a ticking box!

I drove to the bridge figuring to park and jump. Bad luck there, had no money for the toll. Had to turn around.

Went to a gun shop, asked to see a gun and then held it to my head and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, apparently they don't keep loaded guns in the showcase.

Walked out the door and decided to throw myself in front of a moving truck. It was going well until he braked for the red light.

Desperate now, called to see if my sister would have me over for lunch. If I ate her cooking at her house, that would probably do it. She didn't answer the phone.

Went to the gas station, figured I would drop a match in my gas tank. Cashier said they don't give out matches anymore unless I bought some cigarettes. I told her I don't smoke,it's bad for your health.

Looked at a map, hoping to find a cliff to drive over. Just my luck I live in Delaware, what a flat state!

Went home and thought some more. Considered cutting my wrist but poor Mom would be stuck cleaning up all the blood, couldn't make her do all that work.

Decided to go to bed and try smothering myself with my pillow. Problem was I fell asleep, too exhausted from all the running around.

Guess tomorrow's another day!

Goodbyes

Today I said goodbye to my sister, who is moving to another state. Her co-workers and friends had a farewell party for her which my family attended. A lot of people said many wonderful things about her, about how she has had an influence on their lives. My sister has also had some difficult times over the past few years and these people were there for her when she needed them. Needless to say, it was very emotional on everybody's part.

Then I came home and saw an "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode, when Ray had to give a eulogy for his uncle. It was difficult since his mother and aunt had been carrying a grudge with each other for the past seven years. Raymond got tired of it in the middle of the eulogy and spoke about what family had meant to his uncle.

It made me think of the similarity between the two events. In both cases people were saying goodbye to someone who meant something to them. When my time comes there will be no need for a funeral, as I have nobody to attend it. I have tried to live a good life and to help people, but it has been in vain. I have nobody that's here for me except my mother, and to my regret I will probably outlive her. Once she's gone there will be no need for me to continue, so I will probably die from a broken heart or other means.

How I wish I meant something to somebody. Life just isn't fair that way. You try to do everything right but it doesn't mean anything to anyone except your parents. You face the world that treats you like dirt no matter what you do. Maybe I should have smoked and drank and tried to fit in, except it wasn't what I believed in or what I was taught. I tried marriage and what a disaster that turned out to be. Some people just aren't meant to win and I'm one of them.

I know my sister will be happy in her new job, she has the support of her colleagues. I envy her and am proud of her, and wish her all the luck in the world.

Faith, anyone?

It doesn't seem like this has been a good week for anybody! Friends of mine are having problems, as always I'm having problems, and there just doesn't seem to be an end in sight! You turn on the news and all you hear about is death and violence and corruption, why isn't there any happy news anymore? If somebody did a happy news channel it would probably only be on about 10 minutes a day and would be covering the local tri-state area and the world. 10 minutes! Okay, maybe 15 at the outside.

There can't be a God, it's just not possible. Even allowing for one that allows the free will of man to destroy himself by his actions, there should be a point where he would make his presence known, if only for one time and one minute to renew people's faith in a higher power.

The government keeps the UFO files confidential, their excuse is if the truth were known it might cause worldwide panic. Look at the film, "Independence Day." It took total destruction of cities and billions of dead people for the government to admit to the President that yes, there was an Area 51 and yes, we have known aliens existed.

You can make all the excuses but in the end people have evolved enough so that they have a need to know. Mankind has set himself on a destructive path because he believes there are no options and there is nobody to say differently, Almighty or otherwise.

Just suppose God did appear to somebody, or sent an angel, to someone like little Tracy in "Oh God, Book II," or the President admitted, "Yes, we have proof there is other intelligent life out there." We have people killing by themselves or by armies, wholesale slaughter every day. In "Oh God, Book II" they said after she and her friends starting painting "Think God" everywhere that the churches were full but the schools were not, because Tracy was suspended for not saying what they wanted to hear. Oh My! Is that the worse that could happen there? And think of all the priests whose faith would be renewed and they would stop molesting children. And if people were told alien life existed. Maybe there would be some panic or demonstrations, but compared to the wars of the last 100 years I can't imagine many people dying over it. For the most part science would have renewed interest to come up with ways to explore space and make contact, and people would probably start watching the "X-Files" again or just change the channel and say, "See? I always suspected there was a cover up and the little green guys do exist. Now what's for dinner?"

I think mankind is at it's most destructive point. North Korea has nuclear weapons, so does half the world anymore, and it's only a matter of time before someone is crazy enough to trigger them. Look at 9/11, if that had been North Korea our country would be like "The Day After."

We need something now that we don't have - faith. Faith in God, faith in our leaders, faith in ourselves. I met someone recently that called me a liar and every name in the book and he doesn't even know me. I have faith in maybe a dozen people, that's all. And even that gets shaken sometimes.

I know this isn't my Wednesday headline posting that you expected, I will make up for it on the next one, but this is how I feel.

Change to blog

Last night my computer overheated and shut down so I was unable to do my daily blog entry. It wasn't really a problem as I've been having difficulty lately, don't know if it's writer's block or what, but I just can't seem to come up with new ideas to write about. It could be because I don't have much going on in my life, I just don't know.

So I think what I will do is do my Wednesday and Saturday entries only. I'll stick to the strange news headlines (although I may need to branch out a little there also) and do a weekly summary on Saturday.

Hopefully things will pick up, until then see you Wednesday!

The Mysterious Island

Who here has read Jules Verne's "The Mysterious Island?" It's the sequel to "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea," about the travels of the fabled submarine "Nautilus." It details the final days of Captain Nemo and it's about the birth and resting place of the Nautilus. It's an excellent book, I would recommend you read them both. The reason I brought this up was because I was watching the movie, "The Mysterious Island" on tv tonight, the version with Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard from "Star Trek: The Next Generation.








Clive Cussler, also one of my favorite authors, wrote about the Nautilus also. He had an ingenious twist on it however, bringing it into the real world of today. I was privileged enough to set foot on several Nautiluses. I was on the ride at Disney, I believe it was in Adventureland, and the vessels resembled the one in the movie, but what would you expect from Disney anyway, their attention to detail is incredible in everything they do. I would like to see that ride upgraded however, I think they could do a lot more with it. And I went through the nuclear submarine Nautilus in New London, CT. Imagine the thrill I felt at being on the actual sub that went to the North Pole! I also read the book detailing the trip by Cmdr. William Anderson, who captained the sub on that voyage.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing about this is because I was reminded once again how much can be accomplished with the imagination. Jules Verne was ahead of his time, he designed helicopters, modern weapons, movies with sound, television and rockets, all of this before 1900.

What happened to these visionaries? Gene Roddenberry was one from this generation, he envisioned starships and matter transporters. Does this mean we will see these things happen someday? Will we travel beyond our galaxy to other worlds? I wish it had happened in my time, although hopefully I will be around for the next 30 or 40 years. Who knows what I'll see?

Imagination

There was a movie on HBO tonight called "Inkheart," about this girl's father who can pull characters out of their books. I recorded it; hope I can watch it soon as I recall the commercials were pretty good when the movie first came out. I had forgotten all about it until now.

Even though it was on tonight, I didn't even think about it until just now. I was sitting here at my desk, pondering what to write about tonight, and I was looking at the lighthouse picture my uncle bought for me for Christmas several years ago. If you look at it long enough, the lighthouse takes on a 3-dimensional quality and you can almost imagine going into the picture, like the Kirbys' did at the end of "Topper", the 1979 version with Kate Jackson and Andrew Stevens. One of my favorite movies, regardless of the reviews.

It also made me think of the nightmare I had last night, which was like something out of "Terminator," where I was the one in the police station and somebody was trying to kill me, except it was a normal person and not some science-fiction android.

Most of my sleep episodes are nightmares; I rarely have a good dream. I don't know why that is, you would think I would seek escape from my daily problems by having a good dream but it just doesn't seem to happen. It is funny though how when I look at pictures I can imagine being a part of them, especially if it's a picture I really like. Wouldn't it be nice to have that power? They did it in "Mary Poppins" with the sidewalk chalk drawings. Wouldn't it be great to get a travel brochure from Jamaica and be able to walk into the brochure and onto a beach with the ocean like deep blue glass in the background?

A healthy imagination is a good thing, look at the movie "Hook" with Robin Williams where once he starts using his imagination he can eat anything he wants in Never-Never Land. Things that we imagine seldom come true, unless it's something simple like knowing what model and color car you want and going to the dealerships until you find one like it. That can happen. And I guess if you can imagine your dream job and find a way to get the education for it then it is possible to achieve that. So in some instances using your imagination can make your dreams come true.

I think that my imagination is going to be one of the tools I'm going to have to use to achieve some measure of success in my life. Positive thinking will be another one. Isn't it funny how I might have to use those two mental qualities before intelligence to achieve my goal? They claim we only use 10% of our brain, maybe it is true. Lately I've been thinking I only use 5% (if that!) but maybe I've just been going about it in the wrong order.

So here's to a little creative daydreaming, let's see what I come up with!

Mother Nature

I remember an old Christmas cartoon, "The Year Without A Santa Claus," that had Mrs. Claus and two elves visiting Mother Nature, who was the mother of the Heat Miser and Snow Miser. Mother Nature appeared as a nice old lady. Well, that nice old lady has become the equivalent of the Heat Miser lately!

In addition to this year's extreme temperatures and humidity, my allergies have been bothering me lately. And my mother and sister were on their way to North Carolina today and just missed flash floods in Washington, D.C. They were battling heavy rain all the way down south, plus there was a tornado watch in effect.

We've had some major hurricanes over the past 20 years but it seems like they've been increasing in frequency and fury over the past few years. What happened to New Orleans was a major strike against that area. The storms have even had some of the religious advocates suggesting that the Second Coming is near.

It's easy to assign fantasy characters to things like holidays, forces of nature, etc. It's easier to place blame when we can picture an idea in a human form. One of the Internet definitions of Nature is "the material world, esp. as surrounding humankind and existing independently of human activities." Well, I have to disagree with that, as they say factories created by humans have caused the greenhouse effect which can influence nature.

An argument I've been hearing for years is that mankind is destroying the planet and it's atmosphere, which I agree with. And that is affecting the weather patterns, which I also agree with. So is it really too far out of bounds to say that yes, we have seriously pissed someone off and now we're paying the price? Not that I believe in a little old lady that views this world as her garden but we do assign names to hurricanes that makes them seem human. Look at Hurricane Katrina and what she did to New Orleans - we could safely call her something that rhymes with "witch" and we would be justified. Yet she could have been striking back at us for what we're doing to the planet, in which case it would be self-defense.

A lot of people have problems with the Greenpeace activists and all the other "Save the Planet" groups. And these are probably the same people that throw cigarettes out their car windows along with other trash. I don't profess to be a tree hugger but I do have respect for our environment. And I remember back in 1st or 2nd grade where we took at walk and collected trash on the street, back when "Give a hoot, don't pollute" was a slogan. What happened to those days? Did we get too bogged down in insurance policies to let kids leave the school grounds for a worthy cause? How much do they teach about the environment in schools these days? Maybe more should be done.

In closing, I just want to ask for everyone to have more respect for our planet. After all, it's the only one we have.

It's Wednesday again! Wacky headline time!

As promised in last Wednesday's post, here are more of our professional literary achievements from our country's newspapers.

"One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers" Now tell me the truth, isn't this kind of insensitive?

"Tips to avoid alligator attacks" - Don't swim in waters inhabited by large alligators. Well, I guess this newspaper was having a really slow news day.....DUH!!!! Tomorrow's will probably be something along the lines of "How to avoid falling down stairs....Avoid stairs

"Missippi's literacy program shows improvement" I really hope this editor wasn't the best English student that school ever had or they're in trouble!

"Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25" Now why in the world do you think that is? Why not after age 20 or 21?

"Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons" Incredible! That's our government tax dollars at work! Wonder what they expected to find...doughnuts?

"Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison" This must be from the brother of the alligator attack guy above! Same I.Q. level, or they think people are really that stupid!

"Caskets found as worker demolish mausoleum" Subtitle "We had no idea anyone was buried there" Well gee, what did they think the little stone building in the cemetery was, a closed up McDonalds?

"Meeting on open meetings is closed" All right, my open mind is closed now.

"Volunteers search for old Civil War planes" Would have loved to see how they attached the 1600 lb. cannons to the wings and then loaded the cannonballs in flight!

"County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds" I can only guess this came from Harford County, Maryland, they're stupid enough to do that!

"Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says" Okay, just not going to go there...

And I wonder why I can't get a job with a newspaper, guess maybe I'm too overqualified!

Back next week with more!

Do you know somebody?

If I asked you if you know somebody, you would probably look at me like I'm an idiot and say, "Of course I know somebody, I know a lot of people!" But then I would say to you, "You may know a lot of people, but how many of them do you really know? Think about the word "know" because your meaning and mine are two different things."

So how well do you know the people in your life? Is it just a casual acquaintance for the most part, or do you take the time and trouble to really get to know them. I think that is one of the biggest problems I have. The few friends I have are people that I have focused on and really have an understanding of, and that's why I value those friends so highly. And they, in turn, have been able to know the real me.

I am lucky to know people like that, the kind that take the time to get to know people and understand them. That to me is what really strengthens a friendship. In times of stress and trouble you know that you can count on them to be there for you, as they know I would be there for them.

We tend to take friendship too casually these days. Most of the people I worked with were casual friends, I would see them at work but never after work. Usually everyone would go their separate ways. As a result I would have to look forward to going home to my dogs and books. It would have been nice to have people to hang out with, go to ball games with, whatever, but it didn't happen.

That is why I'm alone today, except for a few special friends I can count on for support and guidance when I need someone to talk to. I think I would rather have a few friends like that then a large number of people I barely know. It would still be nice to get out with a group and do things but I would rather invest the time into getting to really know just a few people that I could share things with.

I value friendship very highly and try to let the special people in my life know that. I hope that all of you look at your friends and let the special ones know how much they matter to you too.

Thank you, my friends, for what you mean to me.

Lemonade, anybody?

A friend of mine recently put on her Facebook page, "Life keeps handing me lemons. I am getting tired of trying to make lemonade." I can sympathize with her, nobody wants to buy a couple tankers of lemonade from me either.

Today was not a good day. It seemed like no matter what I tried to do, nothing went right. For instance, tonight I stopped to get gas in my motorcycle. Price was okay, it had dropped a few cents after the weekend. Unfortunately, I was using the spare key since I haven't been able to find the master set I got with the bike. The ignition key works fine but the spare key for the gas tank - NOooooo! So here I am running around keeping an eye on the trip odometer hoping I had filled the bike the last time I set it, which was last year, so I can't be sure, and I can't get gas! So I made it home and started looking for the master keys. Well, after destroying my room and other parts of the house, I was ready to concede defeat when I looked in the pocket of the jacket hanging on my bedroom door. There it was! It's always in the last place you look. So why don't you look there first? Why don't you say to yourself, "Where's the last place I would look?"

Of course, some good came out of it, I found quite a few other things along the way that I was looking for from time to time. However, considering the amount of cleaning I have to do now, I'm not sure if it was worth it!

Right now I can't go to bed because of everything that's piled on it from my search for the keys. So I have to clean off my bed and find a place for everything that doesn't have a place before I go to sleep. And then I have to get up extra early tomorrow so I can stop for gas (I checked, the tank is pretty low) before I go to an appointment I have.

I guess George Burns in "Oh God - Book II" was right when he said everything has to have two sides. Good and bad, sickness and health, up and down, in and out. Although sometimes it seems like I'm feeling bad, I'm sick, I'm down, and I'm out. The other side just doesn't seem to be there. Hopefully one of these days I'll be good, healthy, upbeat, and in to the place I want to be.

Is that positive thinking? You be the judge!

Comic strips

How many of you like to read the comic strips in the Sunday paper, or the "funnies" as we used to call them? Or how many follow a particular comic strip in the daily paper or online?

I do, I admit it, I'm a 45 year old male that likes to read the comics. I need a laugh every day, don't we all? I have been following "Peanuts" since I was 5, I have "Maxine" delivered to my Facebook page every day, and even have "Dilbert" accessible from my cell phone. I also have all the Dilbert comic books on my bookshelf, I wish I had all the "Peanuts" books from when I was a kid, I must have had about 100 of them. Don't know what happened to them all, guess they were lost in moving with some other things.

Anyway, today's "Peanuts" strip was the one where Violet is chasing Charlie Brown threatening to beat him up. He stops and tries to reason with her, telling her that if little kids can't solve their differences, what hope does the world have when they're grown up? She hits him, then tells Lucy she had to because he was starting to make sense.

What's the saying, "Out of the mouths of babes?" It's true, sometimes kids say the darnedest things, but there is a lot of truth to them. I saw "Everybody Loves Raymond" yesterday, the episode where Frank scares Allie by getting into an argument with a supermarket employee. He doesn't like she's afraid of him afterwards so he sits down and talks with her. She tells him when she is wrong she has to apologize, shouldn't he do the same? For Allie, Frank goes and apologizes, even though the employee won't accept it. But at least he tried.

Sometimes we do something wrong, and don't apologize. Sometimes we do apologize, and it's accepted. Sometimes we apologize, and it isn't accepted. Other times we don't do anything wrong, but we apologize just the same.

I think it's a measure of how much we've grown up by how willing we are to try and achieve peace with others. We can be juvenile and say, "I'm not apologizing, he started it!" Or we can be the bigger person and do whatever needs to be done to remain on good terms.

I guess what I'm trying to say is we should all look at how old we are and how we want our world to be. If all it takes is saying a few words to live peacefully, even though we may not totally agree with the other parties, isn't that worth it? As long as we don't compromise our principles and who we are I don't see the harm in it. It's only if something is really worth fighting for that we should refuse to let the other parties walk all over us.

Let's all try and look at things from the little and big picture angle. It's always easier to put something smaller away then something bigger. And if we let the little things go too long, they can escalate into a bigger thing, so shouldn't we stop it while we can?

Think about it the next time you're in an argument with someone, it's easier to talk it out and maybe apologize then let it become a major problem that can't be solved.

Dear old Dad

Today I would like to talk a little about my father, who passed away 6 years ago. I had a good relationship with my father, we didn't have a lot in common but we did maintain a good sense of humor. Growing up we got along all right, he was busy with work and I always had my nose in a book. Later in life, after I had grown up, we seemed to do a lot better. I can understand that, I'm not too comfortable around kids but since my nephews have grown into adults we seem to communicate better also.

The one flaw (if you consider it such) was that after my father retired and started working afternoon and evenings as a hotel desk clerk he had a lot of time free in the mornings. My father never really had any hobbies so he became bored quickly. The only thing he could do to keep busy was putter around the house. That's where the trouble began.

By "putter" I mean that my father needed to change things. At first he was content to work in the basement in his area where he kept all his reel-to-reel tapes (remember those? Anybody?) and cassette tapes and books and tools, whatever. He was never satisfied, always calling me after I came home asking me to help him lift something or hook up some wires he couldn't reach. Soon he became bored with that and started changing the furniture around in the living room, den, and bedrooms. He would do that when he was home alone in the daytime, since Mom and I both worked days. All I can say is that it's a good thing I'm not blind. Some people move their furniture around for a change once every few months. He did it nearly every day. I would have been black and blue if I was blind because I would never know or remember where the furniture was from day to day. Furniture, pictures, if it could be changed he would change it. Soon it became almost a game to come home, get in the front door, and look around trying to determine what was different. It was like those puzzles in the magazines in the doctor's office where you try to determine what is different between two pictures. As a result of all the changes my mother and I have grown very indifferent to change. I can't remember the last time any of the furniture was moved.

Tonight I was home by myself and looking for some things. I started to clean my bedroom but needed somewhere to put some things I didn't have room for and that were getting in the way. I went down to the basement to Dad's area in hopes I could set up a computer on his desk to get it out of my room. Well, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was sorting everything in the area. Then I cleaned off his desk and started moving some of the boxes and furniture around. Halfway through it I found out the top of his desk was the old door to my room with a blanket over it, being held up by stacked egg crates. The funny part was when he used the door he never took off the doorknob. I decided to remedy that. As I was working on it I said aloud, "Pop, why wouldn't you take the doorknob off?" I halfway expected an answer. I had everything moved around and had created a lot of working room when it hit me, I was thinking also how I could change my room around next. Help me, I'm becoming like my father!

Looking at it, that's not a bad thing. My dad was an okay guy, he just needed change, unfortunately not once in a while but on a daily basis. Me, I've been in a rut for years. Maybe I needed to do this to realize I need change also. I always liked my job because it had variety, I would get bored easily doing fast food or something like that, where you do the same thing all the time. Maybe I need to work on variety in my personal life, and where better to start than at home.

So I'm going to start making some changes around here. Maybe it will help me to change my lifestyle too. After all, you have to start somewhere, right?

Ever have one of those days?

I decided today to get my bike out of storage and use it for a while to get around, tired of pouring gas in my Mustang every week! It's amazing how fast you can build up mileage without never seeming to go anywhere! Only flaw was I didn't have an up-to-date insurance card, don't know if they forgot to send me one or if it's buried in my old mail somewhere. So I go to get online to print out the temporary cards from Progressive's website and the Internet is down! I called Verizon and spent 15 minutes listening to recorded suggestions then finally was put in touch with a real person. After 20 minutes managed to get the connection working again and printed out the cards. Then I go to the shed, fully expecting to have to jump start the bike after being stored for the winter. To my surprise she started right up and everything worked for inspection! Go Honda Nighthawk 250!

I figured my luck was picking up so I headed to Motor Vehicles, as the registration had expired in March and the MVA never notified me. Beautiful sunny day, bike running great, perfect! Halfway there it started raining on me out of a clear sky. Guess Mrs. Murphy (Murphy's Law) still is looking after me! I make it to the MVA, pass inspection with no problem (luck on upswing again!) then go inside. After waiting 20 minutes I get to the counter and I'm told they don't accept computer printed insurance cards! Has to be the permanent card from the insurer or it has to be faxed directly to MVA. (luck on downswing!) So now I have to go back on Monday.

Riding a motorcycle is exhilarating, a lot of people think they're unsafe and there is a lot of truth to that. You have to look out for all the drivers out there that aren't paying attention, they're too busy talking on their cell phones to notice what's going on around them. Then you have the shredded retreads all over the highways, the people that suddenly slam on their brakes for no reason, and the heavy traffic that makes people suddenly change lanes without looking or because they're in a hurry. And you also have the motorcyclists that have never taken a safety course and buy a crotch rocket and go flying up the road at 100 mph, weaving in and out of traffic and causing problems.

But if you take a safety course, and learn what to look for and anticipate, and buy the proper riding gear, they can be a lot of fun. I spent $100 for the safety course and consider it well worth it. I have been riding for 5 years and never had an accident. I wear helmet, jeans, boots, and gloves, and a leather jacket during the cooler weather. For the life of me I can't understand why someone would ride a bike in t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers. There have been a lot of accidents lately where bikers and their passengers have been killed or critically injured because they weren't wearing a helmet. What is wrong with these people? You do not have the protection of an automobile body and frame around you, doesn't it make sense that you should adjust for that by putting protection on your body?

I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for the idiots that don't want to wear a helmet. It's a case of they deserve what they get. I know my chances will be a lot better should anything happen to me. Just yesterday while sitting at a traffic light two bikers pulled up next to me. The one on the right took his helmet off and secured it to the seat behind him because it was too hot. It was a major intersection and the light turned green. I started to turn, they started to go straight, and guess what? Somebody in a big hurry, still trying to make the light on the cross street, ran the light! We all had to hit the brakes even though we had the green and the green arrow. That stupid biker would have been the first one hit and nearly was!

To get back to the subject, it just goes to show that people like me have good luck and bad luck and it's subject to frequent change, often several times in one hour. I could be at home, in my car, on my bike, but wherever I am I just need to pay attention to what I'm doing and be careful. Or I could fall down the front steps, get in my car, and back into my bike, thereby having a pile-up in my own driveway. Some say we make our own luck, I say there's no such thing as luck and things are going to happen no matter what.

Please feel free to comment, would love to hear some of them!

Why?

One of my cousin's was driving me crazy one night, we went to go see a movie, I can't remember which movie it was but trust me, it was bad. May have been Transformers 2. Anyway, he kept saying, "Why?" every time he saw something stupid, like "Why do they insult our intelligence and make something with a stupid element like this in it?"

Anyway, I've been asking myself "Why?" for the past few weeks. It's amazing what that 3-letter word can say all by itself. There are actually a lot of words like that. "Oh" is another one, it can end a conversation, depending on the tone it can be a question, a comment, even derogatory.

Have you noticed how America tends to complicate everything needlessly? Look at any legal document, tax forms, even warranty information included in a box with a $9.96 watch from Wal-Mart has one page of instructions you can barely read and about 4 pages of information that to my knowledge nobody has ever read in it's entirety.

Over a hundred years ago you could buy someone's property in the Old West with 50 gold pieces and a handshake, maybe a note saying, " I sold John Smith here my place on June 5, 1875" and that was it. Now it takes a group of people including realtors, lawyers, inspectors, title workers, etc. to do that and it can take up to 4 weeks to get it all together.

If someone stole your horse (which was your transportation, your means to make a living, your friend, even a tool you used around the ranch), and they caught the guy, they hung him. Pure and simple. Now if someone steals your car, you have to file police reports, insurance claims, go to court, wait for the appeals process, fill out forms to get your car from impound, and maybe even get a lawyer if the poor thief cut himself on a soda tab you left in there and sues you for endangering his life!

If somebody stole something from a store or person, they might cut off his hand. Sounds to me like a good preventative measure to keep someone from stealing again! If he was stupid enough to steal twice, hope he has a real patient significant other to wait on him. Today, again, there are reports, forms, courts, trials, lawyers, etc. until you would rather grab a gun, shoot the thief, and take YOUR chances with the court system!

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but we need to simplify things in this country, we are just getting too bogged down in details anymore. If things were easier, think how much more quickly we could get things accomplished! I really yearn for simpler times - if I had my way, and won the lottery, I would have a nice little cabin on a mountain somewhere and could be happy with my books, music, dogs, and fishing rod.

What do you all think?

Wednesday Wacky Headlines!

New feature tonight, thought it would appeal to a lot of people, at least it does when Jay Leno does it! Every Wednesday from now on I'll do a selection of headlines with my thoughts on each one. Are you ready for these?

Governor (Knowles - Alaska) wants more cash for kids Talk about greedy, I know people that would give me their kids for free just for peace and quiet! His must be perfect angels!

Governor's Penis is Busy ("pen is") Well, either the Governor is a normal politician trying to get in the Oval Office, or the newspaper editor has a one-track mind and it's not on editing!

Thanks to President Clinton, Sergeant Fruer Now Has Son Good grief, didn't the man do any work at all in the Oval Office that had something to do with our country? I guess Hillary really did run the place!

Clinton Stiff on Withdrawal Sorry, went with the previous post, just won't go there at all! Except I'm sure Hillary was happy too!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Well, I feel a whole lot safer knowing these guys are inspecting the planes I may fly on someday, especially their attention to detail!

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers Why am I not surprised? The ones in Delaware and Maryland break every other law, why not vehicular manslaughter? Oh, I forgot, they do that in Philly and Baltimore!

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted I've been saying that for years, except if I become a school bus driver I want a whip instead of a belt!

Is There A Ring of Debris Around Uranus? Blame it on Mr. Whipple, if he would let me squeeze the Charmin, I would buy it, and there wouldn't be a problem!

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope And here I've been saying for years they need a younger Pope, guess not!

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Again, these guys are good! Wonder if I could get that job, I'm not mechanically inclined either!

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter Apparently they shop at the New Castle, Delaware Wal-Mart too!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Guess we know where those aircraft safety inspectors moonlight now! They're medical examiners!

That's all for tonight, thank you for being with me, and I do apologize for all the adult content. However, I can't help it, politicians exist and we did put them in office. I think the purpose of the press coverage is to get a rise out of them. Although in Clinton's case, I guess it's too late now!

Check back tomorrow, my blog will be back to it's usual content, I'll let you judge if it's good or bad!

That's entertainment!

I see quite a bit of television, and I go to my share of movies and I'm always amazed at the Hollywood special-effects wizards. They can make you believe that anything is possible, and when the lights go on it's time to go back to real life and that's when the disappointment sets in.

Well, not always, don't get me wrong, sometimes it's a relief to go back to real life. Some of these movies are so lame that they make you wonder if the producers think the general public is really that stupid. I remember a movie my cousin forced me to go to a long time ago where some mutant had his head slammed in a car door and then kept putting it back in the door to get slammed again over and over! I mean really, do they think we're going to believe even a mutant is that stupid?

However, there are the other times when you would like to just get up and jump in that X-Wing fighter and help Luke blow up the Death Star. Or fight the Nazi's with Indiana Jones. Or go on a date with Kate Hudson. That's when you wish you could live on that screen forever!

The thing is, they make it look so easy. Look at "MacGyver," now that was an AWESOME television series. Richard Dean Anderson took stuff that we have around the house and was able to do so much with it! I watched it religiously, to the point where every time I had to fix something I would be there thinking, "What would MacGyver do?"

That's what I like in movies, when they treat the audience with the respect they deserve. We know some guy or gal cannot jump in the air and just hang there for two minutes while they kick a couple of dozen guys in black robes in the face before they come down (one of the Matrix movies, don't ask me which one, probably all of them!). And then they started doing that with all of the martial arts scenes. If I went to a karate studio and asked the sensei (I think that's it) if he could teach me to float in the air while I kicked people he would probably tell me I'm nuts! Give me a break people, it's impossible and we know it! Not without wires or a jetpack, anyway.

So yes, I am based in reality. I like the movies and shows where the heroes do get hurt and bleed, where if they fall two stories they are going to the hospital, not just get up and walk away like nothing happened. I know if someone punched ME in the face I would be bleeding. And if I fell two stories I would be in traction for two weeks.

The only problem is, sometimes I wish I could live in that fantasy world because reality can be too harsh. I think we all do. But unfortunately, in real life, there is no different channel and no on/off switch. We just have to make the best of what we have.

Expectations

Sometimes in our life we tend to expect too much or not enough. This can pertain to people, material objects, weather, anything really. As a kid I always had the long list for Santa just like other kids. As long as I believed in Santa I always thought I would get everything on my list, then was slightly disappointed on Christmas morning. Not that I wasn't grateful for what I did receive, I just wanted MORE!

Then I grew up and expected more from life than I received, from education to employment. I always expected (and hoped!) for better grades, though I have to admit that I expected to fail also as I wasn't a great student. Fortunately they passed me through! And in my jobs I've always tried to do well, and I like to think my efforts have been appreciated.

As far as people go I've been disappointed, I grew up in a nice neighborhood and expected to find the same kind of people everywhere. Sadly, that has not been the case. I have dealt with all types of people in my life; bullies, snobs, criminals, etc. I had to grow up in a hurry and I still feel the pain.

But that's the way it is with expectations. I was told long ago as long as you expect the worse in people, that's what you'll see. I disagree with that. People are what they are - some are able to change, others aren't going to. What's wrong is trying to change who you are FOR people. They will either like you or they won't, but why try to be something you aren't? How long can you keep that up and still like yourself?

Tonight I had my real estate law midterm exam. I follow along in class, I study out of class, I've worked in legal-related areas for half of my life, and I expected to fail. Well, to my surprise, I passed! Not as well as I probably could have, but I did. Thank goodness for extra credit (it was only 2 points but it helped!).

So we may have let life's experiences beat us down, for some they've lifted us up. And we may have expectations about a lot of things and are bound to be disappointed along the way. But sometimes there is a surprise around the corner, and we should be grateful for those, since they give us hope when we least expect it.

It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness...

I had occasion tonight to think of this line and wondered where it came from. When I Googled it I found several variations, it seems to be from an ancient Chinese proverb.

We've all seen candlelight vigils on television, usually for victims of a disaster. I know the Catholic church lights what they call Vigil Candles. Lighting a candle is a way of extending one's prayer and showing solidarity with the person on whose behalf the prayer is offered.

While I am not Catholic, I do appreciate the thought behind it. A candle is a small, bright, warm light that can pierce the wall of darkness, whether it be night, an emotional darkness, one caused by a power outage, or even in a tunnel during daylight.

I come from a very large family. As of 2003 there were 13 children, 10 girls, 3 boys, 28 grandchildren, 42 great-grandchildren, 1 great-great grandchild, 105 surviving family members from my mother's parents. Since then we have lost and gained, I don't have a current update. The 2003 census doesn't take into account all of the in-laws and extended families through marriage, it would be interesting to find that out sometime but then we would be getting into multiple family geneologies, I think we would need to hire a firm to do that, it would just be too much!

I have relatives I will never know I have. Most of the time I don't even think of that, though I am very family oriented. That doesn't mean that I don't care about them, it is just beyond my scope to keep everybody in mind all the time. I met second cousins in Arkansas over 30 years ago and don't know what is happening in their lives. I may not ever know what happened in their family since then. Some things we just have to accept, if I ever find myself down that way I hope I will be able to find time to look them up and bring myself up to date.

My uncle once said at a reunion, "There are no in-laws in the Michaels' family, only family." I have always believed that, as our family bond is very strong, despite time and distance. The Internet has helped us to keep in touch even more as it progresses, thanks to sites like Facebook. I have better contact with my cousins on Facebook than I do at reunions!

Tonight I am thinking of my cousin's family. My cousin's wife (who is as much a cousin to me as a blood relative), told me tonight her mother is in the hospital awaiting tests to find out what is wrong with her. I sympathize with her and her family and would like to take this time to figuratively light a candle to let her and her family know I am thinking of them and praying for her mother's health.

It doesn't matter if you're family or friend, it doesn't matter if it's a stranger or a friend of a friend, all that does matter is that you think of your fellow man in times of trouble and be supportive of them. If we can't take the time to spare a moment to wish a fellow human being well, than the darkness has won. I would rather light that single candle than to let that happen.

Please think about this and light that candle in your mind, let's make this a better world.

Yard sales and life

For those of you that know me, you know that I am NOT a morning person. That may be the understatement of this century. Not that I am grumpy or anything when I get up. I like a beautiful sunrise as well as the next person. I would just prefer to see it from a cruise ship balcony or while on vacation. I can focus, I can go to work, it's just that I don't feel 100% until around 9 or 10. Add to the fact I am not a coffee drinker and there you go!

However, I was up and out the door at 7:00 this morning to go to some yard sales I saw advertised. True, I struck out, only picked up one book that I plan to try reselling on eBay for a substantial profit, but I did profit in another way.

I was on my third yard sale and found a table with a couple of vintage household items. There was a Pillsbury Doughboy doll, an old can of Pick-Up Sticks circa 1960, and some classic signs, like Coca-Cola from the 60's as well. It made me think of my childhood, yet another reminder if you saw yesterday's post. Over the years Mom and I have made a practice of going to yard sales, it gets us out of the house for a while, we usually stop at Wawa for coffee (for Mom!) and for creamed chipped beef on biscuits for breakfast. It has become a tradition of us. And it's a nice mother/son thing to do.

I usually look for books and DVD's. Mom looks for figurines, like her Precious Moments and Hummels, and then we look for things we can use around the house. It's amazing what other people find that you never saw in stores, we have done very well in the past year. We found a great little tv tray with collapsible legs last year, it's great for when we eat dinner and watch Jeopardy together every night (yet another tradition!). And occasionally I'll spot something totally bizarre, like the electronic Grim Reaper I found last year for my desk at work on Halloween. Just fun things, really.

Anyway, that vintage table this morning made me reflect on yard sales a little. We tend to buy things and hold onto them for years, then something happens that makes us have to get rid of them. Like my sister, she's moving to New York and had to clean out her storage area since she's moving into a townhouse. She had her sale today, made around $150, and had to spend the last few weeks going through not only her things but her late husband's stuff. She dealt with a lot of memories, some good, some bad. Now my mom is coming back and preparing for her yard sale, she just wants to clean out the basement. I expect she will be struggling with some memories also.

That's what they're really about for me, memories. There's a saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I think that's how it goes. We go to yard sales because we're looking for bargains, things they no longer sell in stores, etc. But I also think we're looking for lost memories, things from another time that will make us remember those days, maybe they're things we regret getting rid of or lost along the way and want to try to recapture. I find old books that I remember reading as a child. Sometimes I buy them to keep, sometimes to sell, but mostly because I remember my childhood as a happy time that I don't want to forget. So for a quarter I can recapture a little bit of that happiness, I think that's a bargain!

Walk down Memory Lane

I was thrilled today to get a message from an old friend (not agewise, we're still young!) that I am ashamed to say I didn't remember until today. It's funny, isn't it, how we don't remember things until a word or scent triggers something in our minds then it comes back to us in a rush? In this case it was a friend from my childhood in Connecticut.

Several months ago, back when I first signed up for Facebook, I did the usual search for friends in a race to build up my Friends list (so it looked like I had some!) and decided to go back to the happiest time of my life, back when I lived in Hamden, CT. I found Mary, a girl that lived down the street, and her friends' page led me to several others. It was like going home again! I actually have been back there, had a very pleasant visit with my friend Mark's parents, and looked up their daughter Susan who I used to walk to school with. I even have some pictures from back then that I may get up the nerve to put on here (I looked like a dweeb back then!).

Now my friend Anne was talking to Mary who was nice enough to mention me, and she remembered me from back then! She told me she remembered playing with me, I think we also played with Mimi too! Thinking about those days makes me remember playing kickball in the street, going to the park near the school, and getting ice cream from the people that had an ice cream truck at the house next to the alley leading to the park.

It's amazing how it all comes back to you! Especially with my memory! Those were wonderful days, it was a small neighborhood filled with the nicest people, I wish I could go back and find the same people still living there. Unfortunately, we have grown up, and gone our separate ways. But at least the people haven't changed, the fact they are keeping in touch shows that they value friendship, as I do.

"You can't go home again." Thomas Wolfe said that, I believe, and he was right. But there is always the chance to see people again, like high school or family reunions, and maybe I will get that chance to see some of the people again that were the best friends I ever had!

Thank God It's Friday!

Friday is nearly upon us,it's time for the weekend! Get ready to count the hours and minutes of the last workday of the week (for the Monday through Friday people)and then head for the nearest bar for happy hour, or home to flop in a recliner and take the first deep breath in five days, or to get packed up for the run to the beach for the weekend.

Sadly, I'm not doing any of those things. I actually don't know what to do this weekend. I don't think there is anything on I want to watch, I can't really afford the gas to go to the beach just to sit on the sand by myself, I don't go to Happy Hour anywhere (maybe I should start!), and I don't feel like going to yard sales.

Sometimes it's not a bad idea to just stay in and think. After all, it's free, nobody is going to demand a penny for your thoughts (I wonder who came up with that anyway, my thoughts are worth more than a penny, just click on the Amazon link here and order something so I can prove that!), and you might actually come away with something more valuable than money. I think I think too much sometimes, and I come away feeling poorer.

Take last Saturday for instance. I remember thinking about getting my hair cut, maybe going for a crew cut. Fortunately, I gave it enough thought to realize my hair is too fine and wouldn't stand up properly for a crew cut fashion. So by staying in and thinking about it I saved myself all that misery.

I did go out last Saturday for a while, I was looking for a used cooler. To my surprise the vendors at the Farmer's Market all closed up early because of the heat, I don't remember them ever closing at 3:00 on a Saturday before. I guess only idiots were out running around in 100 degree weather looking for coolers. Another good reason to stay in - the heat! Why go out when you have air conditioning?

But there are advantages to going out. I understand the Cecil County Fair is going on this week in Fair Hill, Maryland. Maybe I need to get out and be around people, watch the hog races, the demolition derby, and the Masters of the Chainsaw (whatever that is!)

I guess the best thing about the weekend is the fact that you don't have to go to work (unless you work weekends), your time is your own, and you can do what you want (within reason). Maybe I'll take time to read all these books about blogging I've been getting.

Anyway, it's FRIDAY! Enjoy!

Fantasies

Bet I can read your mind right now, you saw the title and thought, "OH BOY, hubba hubba! Now it's getting good, cold shower, here I come after I read this!"

Well, sorry, apparently you don't know me as well as you thought you did. My fantasies wouldn't raise a sweat on a Pepsi can on a hot day! One or two, maybe, but rest assured I won't be putting those on here. I admit I do have one or two, I'm a guy after all, but most of mine are...humdrum, for lack of a better word.

There are all kinds of fantasies. There's Fantasy Island, with "Boz Boz da plane!" from that creepy little guy, I wouldn't have wanted to be stuck on an island with him! I did applaud Roger Moore in "The Man with the Golden Gun" when 007 trapped him in a trunk and put him in the rigging of a yacht at the end. Me, I would have just shot him and dumped him over the boat.

Then there are the diabolical little ones. Like the ones I have about my mother's boss, I have these fantasies of what to do with her and her husband, usually they involve the Chesapeake Bay, a boat with no oars, and enough salt water sprayed on them to attract every mosquito on the East Coast and no sunblock. When I have more time, I dream up exotic deaths worthy of the old "Batman" tv series. Why the Penguin or Joker never just shot them I'll never understand, they always got out of their predicament and caught them again and again. You would think the archcriminals (Hah!) would have learned.

And then there are the ones for my ex. They usually involve carjackers, knives, and sewage treatment plants. And those are the nice ones!

To be totally honest I do have fantasies about women. Like the one where I'm driving on Rt. 202 in Wilmington and Valerie Bertinelli, who's in town visiting her family, bumps into my car. I agree not to sue her if she has dinner with me, usually by candlelight. I admire her though so it ends there, not in some cheap motel. And the ones where I win the lottery and I buy a boat crewed by Scandinavian women, but only because 1. Scandinavians are GREAT sailors, and 2. Let's be honest, I'm a guy, why would I want to look at sailors named Sven all day?

And finally, there are the everyday fantasies, where I dream I'm popular, surrounded by friends, good looking (hey, I said it was a fantasy!), and I'm happy doing whatever it is I do for a living. That is the one that seems the most likely to happen, I just haven't found out what it is yet.

I like to think fantasies can come true if you work hard enough to make them happen. Someday I could be popular, and I could be happy in some form of employment. That's called being realistic, we all have a shot at those two. As far as good looking, well, mirrors don't lie. As far as the lottery, you never know. Valerie Bertinelli, really a long shot, I would have a better chance with the lottery!

So it's okay to fantasize, or dream, a little. Depending on them to just happen means you're pretty much doomed to disappointment. But we need those dreams to keep us going. Life can be too depressing sometimes.

So now you can take your cold shower, or whatever. Sorry if I disappointed you but this is MY blog!

The Game of Life

Who remembers "The Game of Life?" I do, in fact, I found a picture of it. I love games, any kind. To this day I'm undefeated at "Monopoly." I like board games, computer games, baseball games, football games, verbal games, etc.

I was thinking today that life itself is a game. On some occasions, if we make the right moves, we win a prize. Sometimes we don't know what to do so we just "roll the dice," and go from there. Other times we lose. Sometimes there's a penalty, sometimes we're playing by ourselves a game like "Yahtzee," and nobody except ourselves is going to know how we did. But we'll know. Sure, it isn't something I'm going to keep track of and announce 3 months from now something like, "Hey, 3 months ago I scored 270 on Yahtzee!" See, I played that two nights ago and remember my score. Not that it was great or anything. But I accomplished something, I got "Yahtzee" on that round. Sometimes I don't get it at all.

That's one of the points here. It may be a game of entertainment, it may be a sports event that we go to, or a game that we participate in. No matter what it is, we accomplish something. We learn from our mistakes, our defeats. Like playing chess, which is something I can do, you play against an opponent and remember strategies that he uses or that you use with success. It's an accomplishment no matter if you win or lose.

There was a movie, "War Games," with Matthew Broderick. It's about a NORAD computer that has the General Staff thinking the USA is about to be nuked. In the end Broderick has to teach the computer that sometimes if you win, you lose. Or that sometimes there is no winner. There's a General in there that says the priceless line that people remember that movie for, "Ah'd piss on a spark plug if it would do any good."

Well, sometimes so would I. I even know what a spark plug is (not bad for someone who isn't mechanically inclined.) And no, it wouldn't do any good, not in any instance I can think of.

The final point here is that we can look at life as a game. We can choose to play and try to win, we can lose the round we're playing and put it back on the shelf, and we can try another game and see how we do. If we don't look at life as a game, then we take life seriously. Nothing wrong with that but we can take it too far. And when we lose, life is over.

So I'm choosing to look at it like a game, and I try and consider my strategy before I make a move. I'm not always going to win, but I can try to do my best. That's all we can do - try our best. And sometimes there is no winner, it's a stalemate. But I'm having fun finding new games, learning the rules and finding people to play with. And the people are what makes it interesting!

Right now I have to go and send some monsters into someone's backyard. It relaxes me, just like reading. And tomorrow I have to play the game of life again. Let's hope I win a round!

Who is normal?

It seems like every day that little voice in my mind (Yes, I hear voices, doesn't everyone?) pops up and asks, "Am I normal?" And the answer is right there, "NO!" (Yes, there are two voices. I'm not surprised the second one is female!)

There used to be a television show called "Herman's Head." I doubt that many of my followers (yes, I am aware there are only two right now, thank you, but hopefully there WILL be more! {That was to the female voice}), remember that show, but it used to be quite good, except it only ran for 3 seasons. It was about a young fact-checker named Herman. Whenever Herman had a thought, various conflicting aspects of his psyche were personified and interacted in a cluttered, attic-like room. The emotions represented were anxiety, intellect, sensitivity, and lust. I could really see my mind appearing as a cluttered attic, it's getting more cluttered every day. Anyway, the 4 emotions would argue and come to a decision in the space of a second in Herman's time. Surprising, he seemed normal considering what the emotions were like.

I had an interesting day. I found out this morning that my cell phone, which I have had for some time, was a blank slate and I had to download the features I had been wanting. I thought they came with it and I just couldn't find them! Admit it, cell phones are very complex these days! Then I worked on my car a little, actually managed to make a temporary minor repair (not bad for someone who is mechanically inept!) I then went on to find another item I had been looking for and succeeded. All in all, I felt pretty good! I felt like a normal person!

Then I had my class in Real Estate Law. In case I haven't mentioned it before, I'm taking a real estate course. I always come out of that class needing Tylenol and feeling like a moron. Then I went to my favorite cousin's house (she was home) and my cousin helped me out with this blog page, which I hope you will notice the changes on! Excellent job Warren! That is Warren C., Vice-President and partner in a local web design company. I keep forgetting to ask if he would like to advertise his company on here. You could not ask for a better creative talent, and I am not saying that because he's a relative. He explained what he was doing and I came away tonight feeling like I had learned something, which I haven't felt in a while. That is also the reason why it looks like I missed Monday's post. I like to do my post at the end of the day, it gives me time for reflection on the day's events and my topic for the day. As I didn't get in until 2 a.m., I feel I can be excused, as this is really Monday's post.

Back to what I was saying though. I look at all these people who are successful in their fields. My teacher at school, who is a real estate lawyer. My cousin Debbie, who is a real estate agent. My cousin Warren, who is not only a partner and V.P. of his company but also teaches web design at a local college. My therapist Debra who is also a teacher, author and entrepreneur. I see the success they have achieved through higher education and wonder if it is too late for me to go to school and start a new career. My doctor tells me no, it is not too late, and I should go for it!

I look at all these successful people, who are my friends, and think they are normal people. I look at other people I meet, they seem normal. I look in the mirror, and realize one thing. Who am I to judge who and what is normal? People make choices in life about family and education and either benefit or suffer. I have done that just like everyone else. Everyone's life is different, therefore we are not normal, but unique.

I guess I just answered the question in the title. Who is normal?

NOBODY! (and that is to the little voices also!)

Let's go to the movies!

I decided to do something a little different tonight, I have been talking about books quite a bit but maybe it's time to talk about some of my favorite movies, as well as some that I've seen recently.

For example, tonight I was watching "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" starring Dustin Hoffman.  You may remember him from the movie "Tootsie," and he also did "Rain Man."  The movie was about a toy store that was alive, for lack of a better description.  Mr. Magorium felt the time had come for him to move on, or die to put it bluntly, and he asked his store manager to take the store and keep it going.  Even though he had faith in her, she didn't feel she had the magic to keep it going.  I won't tell you how it ends.  Anyway, when he died, everything in the store lost its life and became dull and black.  It was like the scene in "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."  The one where the dementors come and suck all the life and joy out of people.  Anyway, the moral of the movie was that there is magic in the world, all it takes is a spark to keep it alive.

And I saw "All About Steve," which I've already talked about in another post.  It's message was to be the person you are, there's somebody out there for you who will appreciate you the way you are.

And there are many others that have given me something to think about.  Like Patrick Swayze in "Road House," when he's giving his new staff instructions.  "Be Nice."  Even if you think someone's a jerk, "Be Nice."  If someone insults you, "Be Nice."  Until the time comes to not "Be Nice."  Nice guys finish last - I believe that, actually, I'm proof  of that.  I won't go into detail, but maybe it is time for me to expand my thinking.  I've always tried to keep things in perspective, black and white, etc.  And I've realized there is a gray area between the black and white.  Maybe it's time for me to widen the gray area.

I've learned a lot from books and a lot from movies.  Even movies that are meant just for entertainment can have a message for us.  What I've learned is to look for a message in many places, even the unexpected places we find ourselves.  It may not be recognizable as a message, and we may not even realize we've seen it until much later, but there is a great deal of meaning in life and sooner or later we will understand.

Too Hot To Think!

This will be a short post, as all I have been able to think about today is the heat wave that we've been living with.  It is surprising, usually I look forward to summer and hate winter; however, this year it seems like I'm much less tolerant of the heat than I usually am.  Maybe it's old age creeping up on me.  I look in the mirror and see so much gray hair it's discouraging.  So I'm looking forward to fall and winter now!

I have also been dealing with headaches for a few days.  Again, I blame the heat and humidity for that, although the demands of life may also have something to do with it, I have been dealing with some difficulties lately in my personal life that I won't trouble you with.

The way I have been dealing with it all is to immerse myself in several things to keep my mind off the way things are.  I have finished my last book, "Corsair" by Clive Cussler and have now embarked on another one of his books "Dark Watch."  I am also trying several new games and enjoying some movies on tv.  I stopped and picked up some books from the library on blogging so be prepared for some changes on here.

I think I am going to take advantage of one more way to fight this heat wave - ice cream!  Feel free to join me, sundaes are an awesome weapon!

God Bless America (hope he does anyway, it needs it)

This is a sad post today.  It's about America.  I grew up here, was always taught to be proud of this country, was told we have the best freedoms in the world, and so on.  Like Lee Greenwood's song "God Bless the USA", I always felt it an honor to live here.  Well, I don't really want to anymore.  We have descended too far, and I feel sorry for all of our veterans that have fought for this country.  Even they are not treated as they should be by our government and healthcare system after the sacrifices they have made.

The reason for this post is an article I saw today.  Here is a partial copy of it.

BELL, Calif. – Three administrators whose huge salaries sparked outrage in this small blue-collar suburb of Los Angeles have agreed to resign, the City Council said Friday.


Council members emerged from an hours-long closed session at midnight Friday and announced that they'd accepted the resignations of Chief Administrative Officer Robert Rizzo, Assistant City Manager Angela Spaccia and Police Chief Randy Adams.

Rizzo was the highest paid at $787,637 a year — nearly twice the pay of President Barack Obama — for overseeing one of the poorest towns in Los Angeles County.

Spaccia makes $376,288 a year and Adams earns $457,000, 50 percent more than Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck.

The three will not receive severance packages, the Los Angeles Times reported Friday. Rizzo will step down at the end of August and Spaccia will leave at the end of September. Adams will also leave at the end of August, after completing an evaluation of the police department, the Times said.

"I'm happy that they resigned but I'm disappointed at the pension that they're going to receive," said Ali Saleh, a member of the Bell Association to Stop the Abuse or BASTA.

Rizzo would be entitled to a state pension of more than $650,000 a year for life, according to calculations made by the Times. That would make Rizzo, 56, the highest-paid retiree in the state pension system.

Adams could get more than $411,000 a year.

Revelations about the pay in Bell has sparked anger in the city of fewer than 40,000 residents. Census figures from 2008 show 17 percent of the population lives in poverty.


This is just so wrong, everyone I know is barely able to get by, yet our politicians, professional athletes, and others I am not able to think of right now are getting exorbitant salaries that they just don't need!  Especially in the above instance where so many people are living in poverty.

What is wrong with America?  Why do we allow this?  Why have we put people in office that allow this?  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?  Can't anybody see this for the problem it is?  Can't anybody do anything about this? 

The answer is no.  That's the sad part.  That is why I am ashamed to be an American.  Maybe our enemies are right to hate us, are we really giving them any reason to like us when we treat our own citizens like the people in Bell, California?

Think about it.

P.S.  Just saw where Hillary Clinton is getting involved with China and their outlying island dispute.  I think I'm just going to sit here and watch our country decay even further.  Next she'll be offering them financial aid.  Why not, we don't have any Americans that need money or help, right?

Schedules and Spontaneity

It occurred to me, with a little help from a friend, that sometimes we need to take a break from our daily schedule and find time for personal enjoyment.  I know that I tend to fall into that Monday through Friday, 9-5 routine.  I would go to work at 8:30, take my lunch from 1-2, at 4:30 do the mail, and at 5:00 leave for the day.  Then after arriving at home, I would plan to watch Jeapordy from 7 - 7:30 with Mom, and then the rest of the night would be unplanned.  On Saturday and Sunday I would play it by ear, see what happens, then get ready for Monday through Friday again.

Don't get me wrong, I recognize the need for a work schedule, and I enjoy spending time with Mom.  I strive for punctuality, I feel it's rude to be late for things and keep other people waiting.  But I also feel the need to just be spontaneous, it relaxes me and leaves me open for possibilities.  Living our life according to a schedule can be stressful.  Every detail of life can't be planned, you would miss out on so much.

For some it's easier than others, there are family obligations, bills, school events, etc.  For a single person it's easier to be spontaneous than a married person.  But there is so much stress in the world today, sometimes it's worth it to take a break from routine, even if it's just deciding to stop on the spur of the moment for a water ice, or to take a short walk in a park. 

So all my friends, please take a moment to stop and think about this, and take a break from routine once in a while and relax and have fun.  Stress can affect your health and I want all my friends to live long and healthy lives, otherwise who will read all these posts?

Simplicity!

Tonight's post is going to be easy to remember - it's simple, just think of me!

I was reminded today of how complicated things have become in this country.  Look at Shirley Sherrod, she was asked to resign over something that happened over 20 years ago.  Nobody wanted to listen to her side of things, yet once they looked deeper the White House begged her forgiveness.  Just like court cases, how many people have been found guilty of crimes they didn't commit just because nobody bothered to properly investigate?

When you consider less than 200 years ago in the Old West property could change hands with a handshake, 50 gold coins, and a note that said something like, "I Joe Smith sell my ranch to Tom Jones for 20 gp."  That was it.  A man's horse was his livelihood, if someone stole his horse and was caught they hung the thief, no long drawn out appeal process.  If somebody stole something smaller they would either jail him or cut off his hand.  A man could be arrested on Monday, have a chance to talk to his lawyer on Tuesday, have the trial Wednesday, and either be freed or hung on Thursday.  They didn't have overcrowded prisons in the Old West.

Look at taxes, it was simple enough to either pay them back in Colonial days or dump tea in Boston Harbor.  The tax code wasn't that complicated, it probably fit on one scroll.  Now we have entire law firms and the IRS and they can't figure it all out.

I like things simple, do you have any idea how many PIN's I have to remember, along with passwords, etc.  Look at my cell phone, I will probably have it for 5 years and only understand how to use 5% of it's functions.

What happened, why did the world get so complex and confusing?  Give me my cabin on a mountain with a fence and a shotgun and a room full of books and I'll be happy.  Anybody want to join me?  Ask for an invitation, since I'll shoot anybody that trespasses past the fence!

My favorite topic!

Forgive the lateness in posting for Tuesday's blog, but it is tied in with the topic.  The reason is that I was finishing a book so I would have the opportunity to write about it on here.

The book was Clive Cussler's Flood Tide.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the name, Clive Cussler has been an author for quite some time.  He is credited with over 40 books, among them Raise the Titanic, Night Probe, and several non-fiction books which describe his real-life adventures searching for lost ships of historical significance.

I first started reading Cussler's books back in the 80's.  The hero of one of his series, a marine engineer named Dirk Pitt, I found particularly compelling.  Unlike many of the heroes in today's fiction, Pitt has been injured many times through the course of his adventures, yet manages to survive and bring the story to an exciting conclusion.  Cussler has also created other series, such as The Oregon Files, The Fargo Adventures, The Isaac Bell novels, The Kirk Austin Adventures, and as I previously stated his non-fiction works, The Sea Hunters.  All of the characters are portrayed as human beings, prone to injury, pain and suffering, and emotional and physical loss.

While a fan of the James Bond movies, one of my problems with them was the fact that Bond never appeared to be injured.  I like realism in movies and books, not that I enjoy seeing people hurt but I do believe that when someone is hit in the face they are likely to bleed or get bruised.

I think we all get along better with people when we realize they are human beings with problems just like we have.  How often do we sit in a restaurant and enjoy a meal?  I do occasionally, probably as much as the next person, and I usually look at the people working there and imagine them doing their jobs every day.  From the cook standing over a hot stove, even on the hottest and coldest days of the year, to the waitress dealing with the kind and the difficult people afte being on her feet for hours, to the busboys (been there, done that!), cleaning up after diners day in and day out.

And what about the other people out there?  The construction workers pouring hot tar on the roads in 100 degree weather, the doctors trying to save people lives and not always succeeding.  I think of all kinds of people that work behind the scenes in our country and are never appreciated, and knowing they do it sometimes for minimum wage and no benefits.

It angers me to see these football and baseball players earning millions while the American public is charged more and more to see these games in person.  Why should a baseball player be contracted for millions when the chances are he will strike out more often than he hits the ball and scores?

The point I am making is that I enjoy books that are realistic, the author understands the human condition and has a way of identifying with you that captures your interest.  I have found a large number of those authors, the thousands of books in my basement can attest to that.  These books have been an escape for me, an inspiration at times, a source of knowledge, and I look at them as friends I can carry with me wherever I go.  And in today's world, where you can buy them for a quarter at a yard sale, that is a small price to pay for something that can give so much pleasure to so many.

So the next time there's nothing on tv, you don't want to pay $10 to see a movie you may not like as well as $3 for a small soda, or sit in the cold rain watching your team lose after you shelled out $25 for a ticket as well as paying for parking, grab a book!

Communications

Back again today, although as I said the earlier post should be credited to Sunday, as it took me a while to gather my thoughts and post them, and it really wasn't my fault it wasn't done until early Monday morning.  Circumstances just didn't permit me to do it on the calendar day.

That there is what this post is about - communication.  There are many kinds of communication out there.  Radio (yes, that's still around!), T.V. (hi-def now!), newspapers (probably not for long, they are on the Internet for viewing), letters (not so much now, leading to....), e-mail (which will soon replace the postal service), sign language, etc.  Probably many I don't know about!

No matter how we do it, communication is important.  Lack of it has led to wars, divorce, disasters, pain and suffering, death, whatever.  When two people share information, that's communication.  When one person does it, say on a blog when he's sitting all alone and trying to share his thoughts, that's communication.  When a group is at a sports event and the umpire is making bad calls and they're giving him suggestions on what he should do (even if it's anatomically impossible!), that's communication.

I try to communicate with someone every day.  I usually speak to my mother, a day doesn't go by that I don't talk to her.  It's because of love, and because I worry about her, and because she worries about me and I want to reassure her that I'm all right.  It's not too difficult to get hold of her, I know her work schedule, when she'll be home, and because I have done all I can to make sure she can hear her cell phone and access it easily when I call and she is out and about.  Then there are the other people.  My sister, who either misplaces or forgets to charge her cell phone and never answers it, then gives Mom and I grief for not answering ours when she calls (like that happens a lot!).  My two male cousins (who have no excuse at all, especially when one of them has two cell phones and STILL can't answer it, listen to his messages, or return his calls!).  And the other people who I know are extremely busy and trust they will get back to me when they can.

I hate phones, I answered one at work for 10 years and that was enough for me.  I have a cell phone, I admit it comes in handy but I am not addicted to it like other people are.  I don't spend much time talking, I use the other features of it, like the Web browser for reference, or the notepad for keeping track of things, the calendar for appointments, and the cameras for the sudden photo op.   When it rings I tend to groan first, then check to see who's calling.  I do not intend to be one of those irritating, annoying people you are in the same store with and you have to listen to every detail of their lives, like what Jane Doe is doing behind their back, how their boyfriend treats them, etc.  I try to keep my conversations private.  I would love to get all those people together in an auditorium somewhere and let them get on each others nerves.  And as far as the drivers that are all over the road because they're too busy talking on their cells to pay attention to what they're doing, well, don't get me started.

The world is getting smaller and smaller, communication devices (like cell phones) are getting more sophisticated and allowing people to talk and see each other clear around the world.  So why is it I can't understand people and they can't understand me?  It's because we're too busy talking and not communicating.  As I said in the beginning, it's the sharing of ideas.  Or is it that I'm not talking enough to let people know how I feel?

Last thought.......I care about the people in my life.  Please communicate with me and let me know how you care about me, then do it with the other people who are important in your life.  Trust me, it's necessary.

(P.S.  One day I WILL find a way to permanently fasten cell phones to certain people I know, so they will charge automatically and they will have no excuse not to answer when I call - especially the ones who claim I'm hard to reach!)

Friendship - a fresh perspective

Technically you could say that I missed a day in posting for this blog; however, I prefer to think that I took my time to gather my thoughts together during that period of time and this is merely a delay in getting them on this page so that you will all benefit from my thoughts, thus making it worth the time.

I've been seeing some interesting movies lately, the one that captured my interest the most was "All About Steve," starring Sondra Bullock.  She plays a crossword puzzle designer for a large newspaper, is loquacious (look it up!) to a fault, and is criticized so much in one day for not being normal that she accepts a blind date, who she views as her ticket to normalcy.  When he is put off by her aggressiveness, she writes a puzzle about him, is fired since nobody can solve it, and proceeds to chase him across the country.  In the process she finds people that like her for who she is, and she learns that if you have to change yourself for somebody he is probably not worth it.  That's an extremely simplified version of it, I recommend you watch the movie to learn the lesson for yourself.

It made me really think though.  I have not had anybody I can call friends since I lived in Connecticut, back when I was around 7 years old.  I had no friends in my school years, I was pretty much ostracized by the other kids.  Things didn't really change once I graduated, I had become an introvert by then.  Since then I was lucky enough to make a few friends at various jobs, but they have always been M-F, 9-5 friends.  The friendships pretty much stopped when I left work.  My marriage (which was the biggest mistake of my life) was not so much a relationship as it was a tolerance of each other; sadly it took me 10 years to realize that.

Right now I have my relatives, who are there for me, and three special women who have stood by me.  They are more than friends, supporters would be closer but not enough, all I can say is that they are extremely special to me.  I've come to realize in the past 24 hours that I sometimes ask too much of all these people.

I am alone, through no fault of my own.  I have tried to be friendly to people, and have wondered what is wrong with me when they have failed to respond.  But being alone does not mean friendless.  I cannot expect these people to be there for me when I want them to be.  I realize they have their own lives to lead, their careers, their other friends and relatives they need to be there for.  I just need to meet more people, and to be there for them when they need me to be.  Instead of focusing on a few, I need to be there for many.  Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, maybe it's just the 3 a.m. ramblings of my inner thoughts, but let me try to summarize it.

There are people that like me for who I am, not who I have been portrayed to be by others, but because they know me.  They know me, and they like me.  Why have I been asking for more than that?  The fact these people are special to me, and they like me for myself, should be enough for me.  It is enough. I respect them and trust their judgment, and they like the person I am.  If I try to change myself I will risk losing them, which would be a bigger mistake than my marriage.

So there it is.  Why change?  It's a big world out there and I have not seen nearly enough of it.  There was a line in that movie that is appropriate.  A trucker said "If you missed the bus maybe you weren't meant to be on it."  Like my special women like to say, "Everything happens for a reason."  So I missed the friendship bus, I don't like buses anyway, I would rather be driving my own car on my own road.  And just possibly, like Sondra Bullock in the movie, I will find more people along the way that will like me for who I am.

Have to go, time to hit the road!  (although I will wait until I get some sleep!)

Writer's Block!

This is frustrating, it is only the fourth day of this blog and already I am stumped for a topic!  Therefore, I will have to regale you with the events of the day.

I was up during the night enjoying Mother Nature's fireworks show.  I like to stand by a door or window and watch the lightning flashing across the sky, and with the occasional crack of thunder it is almost like a display on the 4th of July.  The rains was coming down with a vengeance, I felt sorry for the people I could see driving in it, let alone the ones that had to get out of their cars.  I went to sleep and woke up around 9 o'clock, I was entitled to sleep in as it is the weekend and the storm kept me up.

Today I watched tv and am near the end of the current Clive Cussler Oregon Files book I'm reading, titled "Skeleton Coast."  At the left side of this post you will see the first book in that series, titled "Golden Buddha."  For those who like to read adventure books I can recommend this series highly.  It's about a group of mercenaries that operate out of a battered freighter, mostly ex-CIA, military, and several civilians with specialized talents.  Money is not always the issue with them, they will do what they feel is right regardless of the cost.  The high tech nature of the ship and their equipment, plus the frequent humorous parts, allows for complex plots and keeps your interest.

I did go out to get something to eat, life can not always be microwave meals, tacos, and pizza (even though they are my favorite food groups!), and then came back to catch the end of the movie "17 Again."  This looked like a good movie, hopefully it will be on again so I can see the whole thing.

I will be doing a few more things on this blog, hopefully tonight, so please check in for further updates.  I do welcome all comments, don't hesitate to be honest!

Today's topic is pets!

As you will notice, today I put pictures of two of the most terrifying animals in Delaware on this page - I speak of my two dogs, Pebbles and Bam-Bam, although they are backwards in the picture (Bam-Bam is on the left).  It just sounds better to say Pebbles and Bam-Bam rather than the other way around.  One of these days maybe I'll do a post on why some words sound better a certain way...hmm.

Anyway, the reason they are the terror of Delaware is because a few months ago the UPS driver refused to get out of his truck while they were outside on the lawn, uh, taking care of their business.  Keep in mind they weigh about 15 lbs. and are only about 18" high.  Their legs are about 6 inches long so they can't really run that fast.  However, the driver was scared. 

This was laughable because Pebbles is extremely timid and Bam-Bam freezes in place and kind of cowers when he is confronted.  I expect that is my fault as I have kept them isolated from other dogs and people, but only because I really care about them.  It is the first time I have had two Poms at once, but they are good company for each other and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

However, some people do not deserve to have pets.  Below is a clipping from the news about a house that was raided, the woman was a hoarder, and also had the following.

The place was full of feces, urine, parasites, and a whole lot of animals, dead and alive, according to authorities. As Licenses and Inspections condemned the Olney home as unfit for human habitation the Pennsylvania SPCA spent over six hours removing animals. This is one of the worst houses I've been in when you take into account the dead cats. It's ridiculous," said George Bengal of the PSPCA. Fifty dead animals, investigators say including cats, dogs, a pelican and even a fox retrieved from the basement freezer. As for live animals authorities carted out approximately 56 cats, 20 chinchillas, seven dogs, and 18 pigeons inside and around the backyard.  The woman, get this, was upset claiming her rights were violated and she cared for all the animals.

How can you call that caring when the place is unfit for habitation and is infested with germs?  And today, in South Philadelphia, 100 Chihuahuas were removed from another house, a 3-story rowhome.  These dogs appeared healthy but there was an overwhelming amount of feces which made it unfit for a human to live in, let alone animals.

I'm sorry, but I take care of two dogs and they are a handful sometimes.  I give them the love they deserve and feel that they appreciate it.  But would I be able to love 100 animals?  No, I would feel I was neglecting them all because I would be unable to give each one the attention and affection they deserve.

Last week I went by a Wawa in Bel Air, MD.   I filled up my car, which took about 5 minutes, and the entire time there was a dog barking nearby.  I followed the sound to a pickup truck which was parked in the sun, with the windows rolled up 90% of the way, with the dog inside.  The humidity level was high and the temperature that day was around 92 degrees.  Inside the truck it had to be over 100 degrees.  I promptly called the SPCA, as the Bel Air Police Dept. and the Harford County Sheriff's Department are inept, and asked them to please do something.  I furnished a vehicle description and license plate number.  The entire time I was there nobody approached the truck and that poor dog never stopped barking.  Hopefully somebody arrived in time.

What is wrong with people?  Having a pet is a responsibility and a privilege.  If you want to have one, fine, take care of it.  If you want to have more than one, be responsible and make sure you can give them the attention they deserve.  But don't let it get out of hand.  Report those people you feel are unfit pet owners, the animals will be better off, and that is worth more than having the abuser mad at you.

Remember the old saying about dogs, they're man's best friend.  We need to remedy that, make it apply to all animals and not be so male oriented.  A friend of mine loves cats and cares for hers as well as the ones she finds homes for.  Both men and women love pets, the animals love their owners and trust them to take care of them, and everyone benefits from the association.  It all comes down to love.