New feature tonight, thought it would appeal to a lot of people, at least it does when Jay Leno does it! Every Wednesday from now on I'll do a selection of headlines with my thoughts on each one. Are you ready for these?
Governor (Knowles - Alaska) wants more cash for kids Talk about greedy, I know people that would give me their kids for free just for peace and quiet! His must be perfect angels!
Governor's Penis is Busy ("pen is") Well, either the Governor is a normal politician trying to get in the Oval Office, or the newspaper editor has a one-track mind and it's not on editing!
Thanks to President Clinton, Sergeant Fruer Now Has Son Good grief, didn't the man do any work at all in the Oval Office that had something to do with our country? I guess Hillary really did run the place!
Clinton Stiff on Withdrawal Sorry, went with the previous post, just won't go there at all! Except I'm sure Hillary was happy too!
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Well, I feel a whole lot safer knowing these guys are inspecting the planes I may fly on someday, especially their attention to detail!
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers Why am I not surprised? The ones in Delaware and Maryland break every other law, why not vehicular manslaughter? Oh, I forgot, they do that in Philly and Baltimore!
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted I've been saying that for years, except if I become a school bus driver I want a whip instead of a belt!
Is There A Ring of Debris Around Uranus? Blame it on Mr. Whipple, if he would let me squeeze the Charmin, I would buy it, and there wouldn't be a problem!
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope And here I've been saying for years they need a younger Pope, guess not!
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Again, these guys are good! Wonder if I could get that job, I'm not mechanically inclined either!
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter Apparently they shop at the New Castle, Delaware Wal-Mart too!
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Guess we know where those aircraft safety inspectors moonlight now! They're medical examiners!
That's all for tonight, thank you for being with me, and I do apologize for all the adult content. However, I can't help it, politicians exist and we did put them in office. I think the purpose of the press coverage is to get a rise out of them. Although in Clinton's case, I guess it's too late now!
Check back tomorrow, my blog will be back to it's usual content, I'll let you judge if it's good or bad!
No comments:
Post a Comment